Sunday, June 22, 2014

Rant: Quotes on Faecesbook

Another thing that irks me about Faecesbook is this cancerous spread of bullshit quotes by people you've never even heard of! Who the hell are these people, and why are their words so important that they need to be shared? And they are not even funny! (Everyone who is not Dorothy Parker, I am looking at you!) They are so-called motivational bits of doodie, because of course motivational quotes are what motivate you to be better and do better. That's the power of quotes -- they totally change lives! Totally! So they actually fucking work, adon't they? Don't they?

And if they are not motivational rectal pastries, they're far, far worse: priggish and trite faffery on relationships, so priggish and so trite that it's like the collected works of Nicholas Sparks marrying the ladylike titters of Emily Post and setting up house in in Queen Victoria's bustle.

Do you, living, thinking human with a wealth of experiences unique to you, do you need to rely on witless quotations to make yourself feel better about the fact that you don't have anyone in your life, or nobody wants to date you, or you're still a virgin, or that guy you like isn't moving fast enough for your liking and that's why you're questioning everything about your situation, or your partner has a life beyond you, or you're just one clingy idiot who needs a reality check? Or something?

Do people in general really use these messages in their lives? Do people even remember the quotes they share? Or live by them? Because that would be the only justification for sharing, wouldn't it?

Until then? Waste of freaking bandwidth!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Chitaah ko agni dena.. ladki ka kaam hua

Gopinath Munde's daughter performs last rites

Dear Pankaja Munde,

I am so, SO sorry for your loss. You don't know me, nor I you, but I want to offer my condolences. No child should ever have to see their parent dead. At least not without being prepared for the death, and all that comes with  death.

Such as the cacophony - of family and well-wishers each throwing out opinions on things to do, and things that are taboo, and how many days of mourning to be observed, and who will insert the notice in the paper, and approving the text for the notice, and assigning someone to enlarge a recent photo of the deceased, and ALL THOSE THINGS. Such as rituals and their logistics - is it too late for cremation today? Do we put the body on ice or in a morgue? Such as grief - do I give in to mine, or do I remain strong for my surviving parent, or sibling, or even a grandparent? All those things, Pankaja, must have and probably still take their toll on you. You must be bravely taking all of it in your stride, perhaps waiting to weep in private much later.

But Pankaja, I want to also thank you for doing this one thing, which perhaps must have come so naturally to you. I want you to know how indebted I am to you for doing the last rites for your father. I want you to know how awesome you are for having the courage to go into the crematorium, for having the courage to defy thousands and thousands of years of belief and ritual, and for having the god-awesome courage to personally give your father a send-off, for setting alight his funeral pyre.

What you did, Pankaja, is what I would want my children to do for me, irrespective of their sex. It is what I would like to do for my parents - subject to their wishes, of course. And everything permitting, what I would like to do for my husband, should he pre-decease me. Because what you did? Is what everyone should become comfortable doing and permitting to be done.

I want to appropriate your action for the cause of equal rights (equal rites?), for the cause of, oh, let's just call it feminism. But I will desist because that would also be politicising the tragedy that befell you and your family.

But I still want to thank you for doing what you did. Thank you, Pankaja. And Gods bless you and your family with strength, fortitude and patience.

Yours, in humble awe,